At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
