But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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