Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
