paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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