i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
