Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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