no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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