8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
