I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
