Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
