Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
