She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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