is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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