just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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