i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he fucked my hip out of place.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
