Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
