i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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