she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
