I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
