I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
