You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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