Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I need water and some morals
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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