I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
