I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
