I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
