She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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