i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
