So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
