Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
