i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
