So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
