I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
