I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
