Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
