So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
