I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
