I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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