why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
