office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
