i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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