And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have feelings that need drinking.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
