don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
