At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
