i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
