I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dear god my vagina.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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