i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
