I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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