Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
