dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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