I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
