Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
