I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i drank out of a bidet.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
